“Why is it that every time I travel I end up at the furthest gate on the longest concourse in any airport I am traveling through?” I thought to myself as I walked through O’Hare Airport; my carry-on bag slung over my shoulder, my Sunday paper tucked under my arm and my Coke (of course) in my hand. I made my way down the quiet concourse to wait for my plane to take me to San Diego. I was feeling young and small and once again in my life, I felt out of place. I started wondering “when am I going to feel like I belong somewhere?”
I enjoyed my job and for the first time I felt I really had some value and something to contribute. I am off to do group meetings to enroll employees in their benefit plans. I thought about how I had information that other people needed and I thought about what a great responsibility that is. Instead of having a fear of getting up in front of a group of people and speaking, I was calm and relaxed.
I sat back and as I began reading my paper and drinking my Coke I noticed a man walking toward me. I watched the way he walked with confidence. He seemed to be a person of power and wealth. He was a good looking man with perfectly tailored clothes and impressive stature; this man had a presence. I’ve always been an observer of people and have always played the game of putting people in a job and life circumstance in my imagination. I thought whoever he was he was definitely successful. I thought he seemed pretty arrogant and full of himself… I made a lot of judgments and assumptions based on how he carried himself and what he was wearing.
As he got closer I stopped watching him and pretended to read my paper. The terminal was empty, although there were plenty of open seats, he sat right next to me. He got himself situated, putting his carry-on bag here and his coffee there and his magazine: Newsweek, plopped down on the floor in front of him. “You traveling for business, pleasure, or are you heading home?” he asked ignoring the fact that I was reading my paper. “Business… and you?” I answered. “Heading home.” He sighed as he relaxed slumped back in his chair still looking at me. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. He looked to be in his early fifties and I was in my early twenties. “What do these two people have in common?” I thought as I chucked my paper on the floor and pulled my legs up onto my seat and tucked them underneath me. I turned to him. I had no idea what to say or what to expect but he was staring at me clearly waiting for me to say something… He was waiting and I was intrigued.
“So, what’s your story?” I asked, surprised that those words came out of my mouth. He sat up in his chair and turned his body toward me, never breaking his stare. Now it was his turn to be intrigued. “What do you mean? What story do you want to hear?” he asked excitedly. “I don’t know; what story do you want to tell me?” I said smiling at him.
The challenge was on.
He smiled and turned staring ahead at the empty terminal in front of us for at few minutes. He slowly rubbed his hand back and forth on his chin. I found that amusing, like it was helping him think. I could see he welcomed the challenge and was going to call my bluff and come up with a good story. With the smile still on his face, suddenly he swung back with a childlike expression on his face and a glow in his eye.
“When I was in college” he started “I was in this fraternity…” as he continued with his story he moved around the seat with excitement and animation as he spoke, there were times he stood up and acted out parts of his story. I remember feeling the gap between where I was at in my life and where he was at in his life quickly disappear. I remember thinking how simple and real this moment felt. I thought about how I felt I would have nothing in common with this person in his well tailored suit as I judged him while he was approaching me only minutes earlier.
After he finished his story he immediately sat back and began telling me how his wife had passed away a few years ago and what brought him here to O’Hare Airport on this day. Today was not a business trip or vacation; today was another story of great loss in his life. In this moment I realized how similar we all are. No matter what our age or our life circumstances, we all have a great need to connect with others, we all have a great need to feel like we belong.
We all have a need to tell our stories, but more important, we all need to have our stories heard.
We all need to be listened to, we all need to be understood and we all need to be receive with compassion. I realized why he sat right next to me. The terminal was empty, for the most part, but what he needed more then anything, was human connection.
He simply needed to be heard.
It was time for our plane to board; he, of course, was in first class. I, of course, was not. He got up and he thanked me, I got up and gave him a hug and said, “No, thank you.” “For what?” he asked. “For the life lesson.” I smiled. He simply returned the smile and the hug and walked off.
As he walked away I realized I never did find out what he did for a living. I also realized how glad I was that it never came up. We connected on a real level, not on a superficial level of age or job title, but human to human, story to story.
Getting Unstuck 